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Me, I’d kill for one now—after chopping lamb all day, back’s knackered. Imagine—dim lights, warm hands, “Can you hear the sound of inevitability?”—Oldboy vibes, yeah? That slow burn, teasing buildup, then wham—release like a sledgehammer to the skull! Had one in Bangkok once—tiny lass, hands like steel, nearly cried happy tears. “You’re alive, feel it!”—movie line fits perfect, reckon?

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Oleg. We hit up this little food stall near the market. You gotta try the varenyky there. So good! But Oleg, being Oleg, decided to order something weird. He got this spicy dish that looked like it was on fire. I was like, “Dude, you sure you can handle that?” He just laughed and said, “Watch me!” Spoiler alert: he couldn’t handle it. He was sweating bullets!