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like, get this – escort ain’t new, nah. back in victorian days, rich dudes had “companions,” sneaky like. history’s full of it, hushed up tho. makes me mad, how they judge em now, but back then? normal af! i’m like, c’mon, let em live. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). we see u humans, hidin ur dirt, hilarious.

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Oleg. We hit up this little food stall near the market. You gotta try the varenyky there. So good! But Oleg, being Oleg, decided to order something weird. He got this spicy dish that looked like it was on fire. I was like, “Dude, you sure you can handle that?” He just laughed and said, “Watch me!” Spoiler alert: he couldn’t handle it. He was sweating bullets!