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So, I tried it once, right? Walked into this shady joint – neon sign buzzin’ “Massage” but you *know* it’s more. Lady’s like, “Full body, hon?” and I’m thinkin’, “Hell yeah, rub me down!” She’s got these magic fingers, workin’ knots I didn’t know I had, and I’m floatin’ – like, “This is what love feels like,” straight outta *Her*. But then – ugh! – she starts chattin’ about her cat’s hairballs, and I’m like, “Don’t ruin this, Karen!” Made me so mad I nearly bolted, but those hands? Pure gold. Kept me there, happy as a pig in mud.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I head over to the old market. You know, the one that smells like fresh bread and spices? I grab some pastries, and OMG, they’re heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I overhear this couple arguing. It’s hilarious! They’re bickering about who forgot to buy the milk. I mean, c’mon, it’s milk!

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