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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a quick fuck—nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill, patience—ain’t no fast food drive-thru. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—candles, some dope music, hands kneadin’ like dough, and bam, you’re floatin’. Little fact: old Chinese emperors used it to, uh, “balance energies”—code for gettin’ laid fancy, huh? Hilarious, right? Bet they had happy endings with extra soy sauce.

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So, I’m wandering around, right? And I see this cute little café on the corner of Hrushevskoho. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But then he laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just coffee, right?

Appledore locals surprised to find a chicken roosting on a letterbox