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About Mykolaiv

So, sexual-massage—it’s old as hell. Bet ya didn’t know ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it some fancy “massage for the soul” bullshit. Soul, my ass—it’s about gettin’ off, let’s be real! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “How do I get me some of that?”—‘cause I deserve it, dammit! Respect my authoritah! And then I’m like, wait, this kinda reminds me of *Amour*, ya know, my fave movie. That old dude, Georges, he’s all gentle with Anne, touchin’ her careful-like when she’s sick. “I’ll take care of you,” he says, all soft and shit. Sexual-massage ain’t that deep, but it’s still hands on, makin’ ya feel alive—or horny, whatever.

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Then, I head to the park near the river. It’s so pretty there! The trees are all green, and the sun is shining. I sit on a bench, just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, childhood!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic! The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a kite!” But I get it. I mean, I’d be upset too.

Russian forces bomb houses in Malyn, leaving victims, including small children