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About Kryvyi Rih

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Master” – ya know, that flick with Freddie Quell, all messed up, lookin’ for somethin’ to grab onto. Sexual-massage? It’s like that, but with oil and happy endings, capisce? I tried it once, down in AC – Atlantic City, not that other crap. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage, fam!” Hands everywhere, like she’s tryna find my soul or somethin’. Made me think of that line, “You’re lookin’ for a boat!” – ‘cept I ain’t lost, I’m just horny and confused.

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I rushed back to the lab, and let me tell you, it was chaos. Beakers everywhere, papers flying. I felt like I was in a movie. We worked our butts off, and after what felt like an eternity, we fixed it. I was so relieved, I could’ve cried.

Obituary information for Stephen Anthony Yagilnicky