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Once – true story – caught my buddy. Mid-rubdown. Shady joint – downtown. Walked in – BOOM! Dim lights. Smelled like lavender – and sin. He’s all – “Chris! Don’t judge!” I’m like – JUDGE? I’m jealous! Wanted to yell – “This is MY scene!” – movie vibes again. That wild energy? Surprised me. Thought I’d be mad – nah. Happy for him – sorta. Selfish me – wanted a turn! Ever felt that? Cravin’ it – bad?

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But then, plot twist! The guy proposes right there! I’m talking about a ring, tears, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Wow, this day just got interesting.” The girl says yes, and the whole café erupts in applause. I’m clapping too, but inside I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day.”

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories