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Oh, and the oils – smells like heaven, or maybe that weird flower scene in the movie, hypnotic! Pro tip: warm ‘em up first, cold oil’s a buzzkill, trust me. And don’t be shy – tell ‘em what ya want, slow or hard, it’s YOUR ride! I’d say, “Gimme the works, I’ll be back!” – motivational, see? Push ya limits, feel the powa!

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But then, plot twist! The guy proposes right there! I’m talking about a ring, tears, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Wow, this day just got interesting.” The girl says yes, and the whole café erupts in applause. I’m clapping too, but inside I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day.”

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories