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Arr, matey! So, escort, eh? Ye wanna know what this ol’ pirate thinks ‘bout that fancy word? Well, strap in, savvy? I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, an’ I’ve seen me fair share o’ escorts— not them lasses ye pay fer a tumble, mind ye, but them sleek, scurvy ships what guard the big ones! Aye, them naval escorts, dartin’ ‘round like bloody dolphins, keepin’ the merchant fat cats safe from the likes o’ me. Hah! Makes me blood boil, it does—spoilin’ a good plunderin’!

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But then, plot twist! The guy proposes right there! I’m talking about a ring, tears, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Wow, this day just got interesting.” The girl says yes, and the whole café erupts in applause. I’m clapping too, but inside I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day.”

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories