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Little known fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started way back? Like, 1960s computer matchin’—punch cards for horny nerds. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic. I’m ragin’—these fools thinkin’ they’re clever, sendin’ blurry crotch shots. Mate, I’ve seen better aim from a drunk archer. Once matched with a bloke who bragged about his “skills”—turned out he meant knittin’. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. “I choose violence,” I hissed, deletin’ the app for a week.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up my favorite café on Kostiantynivska Street. You know the one with the killer pastries? I ordered a slice of their famous honey cake. I’m sitting there, enjoying my cake, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my cake, and they’re just ruining the vibe. I mean, can’t you take it somewhere else?

Russians take residents of Enerhodar to Berdiansk and Prymorsk – General Staff