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I’ve seen it all, sipping my wine, scrolling apps like a nosy bastard. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—hell, even weird niche sites for foot fetishists or somethin’. Did ya know—fun fact, mate—sex-dating apps rake in billions yearly? Billions! People so horny they’re chucking gold at pixels. Makes me laugh, but also—bloody hell, it’s genius! I’d tip my goblet to that hustle.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best borscht in town? I’m standing there, minding my own business, when this babushka starts yelling at me. I thought she was mad at me for not buying her pickles. Turns out, she was just trying to sell me her secret recipe! I mean, who knew pickles could be so dramatic? 😂

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories