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Here’s the tea: it’s sensual, sure, but not always “happy ending” crap—tho, yeah, some spots push it. I ain’t judgin’, live your truth! What suprised me? How it’s legit therapy too—releases oxytocin, that lovey-dovey chemical. Who knew? I’m over here, half-asleep, droolin’ on the table, picturin’ Terrence Malick filmin’ this with his long-ass shots—“The sun, the hands, the oil…”—and I’m crackin’ up. “Look at us, so alive,” the movie says, and I’m like, damn straight, this massage is LIFE.

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Then, I spot my buddy Vova outside on the corner of Shchorsa Street. He’s tryin’ to sell some homemade drinks. I mean, who does that? But hey, it’s Makiivka, right? Gotta hustle. I wave him over, and he’s like, “Yo, you want some?” I’m like, “Nah man, I’m on duty.” But I can’t help but laugh. Vova’s always got some wild ideas.

Russian blame game breaks out after Moscow says its own troops’ cell phone use caused Makiivka strike