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Then there’s the weirdos, bruv. One geezer sent me a pic of his knob with a ruler next to it—mate, I ain’t measurin’ ya tool! Laughed my arse off, but c’mon, who does that? Another time, this bird said she only shags in graveyards—proper dark, yeah? Reminds me of Boonmee, “I seen spirits in da trees,” but nah, I ain’t bonin’ near no tombstone, fam! She got blocked quick-sharp.

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Finally, I got back to the center, and guess what? The kids showed up! They were all hyped, ready to plan this event. But then, one of them, little Sasha, spilled juice all over the plans. I was like, “Sasha, what are you doing?!” But honestly, it was kinda funny. We all just burst out laughing. Kids, man. They make everything better.

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