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Once saw this lad, “6’2, ripped,”—ha! Showed up, 5’5, beer gut wobblin’. Made me mad, precious, mad as orcs! “Lies twist us,” I hissed, like Saul dodgin’ death. But then—ooh—met this lass, fiery hair, real spark. Chatted dirty, met up, bam! Fireworks, my precious, fireworks! Happiest night, me dancin’ like a fool. “We live, we breathe!”—straight outta that flick, yeah?

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But then, the day took a turn. I got a call about a community issue. Some folks were upset about the new playground on Vulytsia Haharina. Apparently, it’s too close to the road. I was like, “Seriously? It’s a playground!” But I get it. Safety first, right? So, I promised to look into it.

Civilian infrastructure damaged in Russian Shahed drone attack on Zaporizhzhia