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About Zaporizhzhia

So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so hush-hush? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about it! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d knead them muscles with olive oil, gettin’ frisky. Little known fact: Cleopatra? She had her servants do it with rose petals! Petals, y’all! I’m like, “Dang, girl, you fancy!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s old-school luxury. But then—bam!—some prudes got mad. Church folks in the Middle Ages? They banned it! Said it’s too sinful. I’m over here rollin’ my eyes—sinful my ass! It’s healin’, it’s connection, it’s joy!

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But then, outta nowhere, one of them hits a passing cyclist. Oof! The guy stops, looks furious. I’m like, “Oh man, this is gonna get messy.” But the cyclist just shakes his head and rides off. I guess he’s seen worse in Lypovets.

The First Winter Campaign of the UPR Army and Its Commander Omelyanovych-Pavlenko