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Here’s a wild tidbit—didja know in old Japan, blind folks were the top masseurs? True story! They’d feel every knot, no distractions, just pure skill—blows my mind! Imagine that, hands roamin’, no eyes, all instinct—kinda hot, right? I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my guitar, thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill for that right now.” Sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay—it’s therapy, it’s art, it’s—hell, it’s rebellion against the stiff suits runnin’ the show!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need those estimates!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a borscht crisis!” But I pull myself together. I rush back to the site, and guess what? The crew’s gone. They left! I’m standing there, alone, with a clipboard and a belly full of borscht.

Russian Offensive Campaign Assessment, October 21, 2024