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So, here’s the deal—met this chick online once. Profile screamed “fun, no strings,” but her eyes? Dead as a gutted fish. We hooked up, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it?” Like, where’s the spark, the thrill? Just bodies crashin’, no soul. Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn time. “Love is a kind of madness,” Almodóvar whispers in that movie. Damn right, but sex-dating? It’s madness minus the love, Clarice…

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First off, I roll into town, and it’s like, what’s up with the traffic on Vulytsia Shchorsa? I mean, c’mon! I’m used to the sound of rustling leaves, not honking horns. I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinkin’ about how I’d rather be knee-deep in mud than stuck in this mess.

Russians launch large-scale attack on Odesa Oblast, killing civilian