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But sometimes, doc, it’s gold! Met this carrot-munchin’ cutie once. We hit it off, chattin’ bout weird kinks n all. Did ya know—little fact here—way back, Romans used oysters for hookups? Aphrodisiac vibes! Crazy, right? She told me that, n I’m thinkin’, “This dame’s got brains!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. We’re laughin’, flirtin’, then she drops, “I’ve got my own stories.” Straight outta the movie, doc! Got me all tingly.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on Lesi Ukrainky. It’s packed! I’m sniffin’ around, tryin’ to find something fresh. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m like, “YES!” I grab a loaf, and it’s still warm. Best thing ever. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! Dude, it’s not that serious. Just buy it and go!

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