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So, I tried it once—total game-changer! This chick was rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!”—cringey, I know, but I was HAPPY, man! Like, who knew a lil’ kneadin’ could get ya so tingly? Fun fact: back in ancient China, they called it “anmo”—means push-pull, and it was all about healin’ through touch. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into THIS, huh? Sneaky emperors probably got some extra “pushin’,” if ya catch my drift.

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After a while, I finally felt a tug. My heart raced! I reeled it in, and guess what? A freaking boot! A boot! I was so mad, I almost threw my rod in the river. I mean, who loses a boot in the Dnipro? I could’ve sworn I heard the fish laughing at me.

Russians attack Kryvyi Rih district, Dnipropetrovsk Oblast, with cluster munitions