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But ugh, the fakes! Catfish city, man! One time, “Tiffany” shows up—dude with a beard! I’m like, “D’oh! Wrong number, pal!” Laughed my ass off later, tho. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half, you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho. Oh, fun story—heard this guy in Japan invented speed-dating, like, 20 years ago. Rabbis stole it first—true shit! Who knew?
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Then, outta nowhere, this old dude shows up. He’s got a fishing rod that looks like it’s older than me. He starts chatting me up about the “good ol’ days.” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, I get it. You caught a fish this big!” (I’m holding my hands out like a total goof.) He just laughs and says, “Back in my day, we didn’t need fancy gear.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and back in your day, you probably didn’t have to deal with my bad luck!”
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