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I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’—*“It’s so easy to fall in love,”* like Maggie Cheung whispers in the movie. But this ain’t love, it’s a transaction, and I’m cool with that. Hands slide lower—ooh, cheeky!—and I’m half-laughin’, half-omg-what’s-happening. Ever tried it? You should. Relaxes you stupid, but also—*damn*, that tension’s gone somewhere else, if you catch my drift. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter—nobody hears, thank fuck.

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I step in, trying to break it up. “Hey! Chill out!” But they’re too into it. Finally, I grab one of them by the collar and pull him away. Turns out, they were fighting over a girl. Classic, right?

An accident involving two cars occurs in Volyn: one person is killed, three children are among the injured