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Check it—pro tip: it’s all bout trust, consent, ya feel? Ain’t no rushin’ this, slow burn’s where it’s at. Ever try it with warm stones? Shit’s next level, melts ya soul. But real talk, some folks out here overcharge—$200 for a handy with oil? Miss me with that! I’m like, “I ain’t no sucker, fam!”

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So I finally get to the site. It’s on the outskirts, near the river. Beautiful spot, but man, the wind was howlin’ like a banshee. I set up my gear, ready to blast away. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude shows up. He’s like, “Hey, you can’t do that here!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I’m just tryin’ to make a livin’!” Turns out, he’s the self-appointed guardian of the river. Like, who made you king, man?