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Ooh, and the drama—once saw an escort dump a dude mid-date at my bar. He’s cryin’, she’s like, “Time’s up, loser.” Savage! I cheered—quietly, tho, gotta keep tips comin’. But damn, surprised me how bold she was. Love that energy—untamed, like Suzy with her binoculars, spottin’ bullshit from a mile away.

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First off, I hit the road down Shevchenka Street. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Bumpy as hell, but it’s got character. I’m cruisin’, feelin’ good, when BAM! A stray dog darts outta nowhere. I slam on the brakes, heart racin’. Almost took out a lamppost! That lil’ guy just looked at me like, “What’s up, human?” I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I almost hit a dog in this town...