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What gets me ragin’, though, is them prudes who’d ban it – “Oh no, too saucy!” Drives me up the wall, that. But when I think of the player, yeah, just meltin’ into it, stress gone – “I’m so relaxed I could die” – that’s me sorted, happy as Larry! Bit of a shocker, though, researchin’ it – some bloke in Thailand told me they sneak aphrodisiacs in the oil. True story! Nearly spat me tea out, I did – cheeky sods! Couldn’t code that in, mind, HR would have me head.

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After that, I head out for lunch. I’m craving some borscht from that little place on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the best dumplings in town? Yeah, that’s the spot. But guess what? They’re closed! I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at the “Closed” sign. Seriously?

Head of Sumy Region: "There was shooting at an exit from Sumy, but the ‘humanitarian corridor’ is operational"