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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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She’s got these gorgeous sunflowers, and I’m like, “I need those for my apartment!” So, I buy a bunch. But then, she starts telling me about her garden. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted flowers, not a life story!” But she’s sweet, so I let her go on.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy inspected the reconstruction of the village of Lanchyn in the Ivano-Frankivsk region damaged by floods in the summer — Official website of the President of Ukraine