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Alright, listen up, you degenerate—sex-dating? It’s a freaking mess! Everybody lies, right? Swiping left, right, like it’s a game. “I’m 6’2, honest!”—bullshit, they’re 5’8 tops. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—digital meat markets. People picking partners like Varda’s gleaners snatch potatoes. “I pick up what’s left,” she says. Same vibe, but hornier.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Ladyzhyn River Park, and it’s pretty dope. I was just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when I saw this old lady feeding pigeons. She was so into it, like she was the pigeon queen or something. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of passion in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swooped down and stole her bread! I couldn’t help but laugh. She was like, “Hey! Get back here!” Classic.

Czech Agriculture and Food Inspection Authority | CAFIA warns against frozen chicken product with salmonella