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Favorite part? The tease, man. It’s all slow, like Tarr’s long-ass shots—y’know, “the shadow moves before the light.” Drives ya nuts, but in a good way. Ever hear about that Thai massage scandal? Some diplomat got caught, pants down, embassy freaked—hilarious! I laughed so hard I cried. But real talk, it’s art, not just smut. Takes skill to not cross that line—well, sometimes they do, and I ain’t mad. Surprised me how chill I got after—usually I’m wound tighter than a drum.

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Next, I decided to hit up the local gym. Yeah, I know, I’m not a gym rat, but I try. I walked in, and it was packed. Like, everyone and their grandma was there. I hopped on the treadmill, and this dude next to me was running like he was training for the Olympics. I felt like a sloth. But whatever, I just cranked up my music and pretended I was in a music video.

Ukraine: “I don’t even know how to thank you.”