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So, picture this – I’m behind me till, beepin’ baked beans, and I’m dreamin’ bout escorts, yeah? Not the Ford kind, mind! Proper high-class ones, like. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, escorts were secretly runnin’ the show? Blokes in top hats, sneakin’ off – little known fact, that! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ bout me nan’s face if she knew. “Oh David, you plonker,” she’d say.

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but I shake it off. I wander down to Andriyivskyy Descent. It’s this cool, artsy street with all these galleries and shops. I see this painting of a sheep. I laugh and think, “That’s me!” I snap a pic and send it to my buddies. They’re gonna love it.

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