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So, sex escorts—man, it’s a trip! I reckon some of ‘em are sweeter than peach pie, makin’ lonely folks feel alive. Others? Shady as a backwoods deal. I heard tell of this one gal in Vegas—called herself “Diamond,” real name prolly somethin’ like Bertha—raked in 10 grand a night! Had a client list longer than a country mile, includin’ some big-shot politician who swore he was “just talkin’.” Yeah, right, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my gum.

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Then, my coworker, Oleg, walks in with this ridiculous grin. He’s like, “Hey, did you hear about the new café on Pushkina?” I’m like, “Dude, I just fought a printer. I can’t deal with your coffee shop gossip right now.” But he kept going on about their “amazing” lattes. I mean, lattes are lattes, right?

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