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Oil’s all slippy—*mimes sliding off table*—smells like posh flowers tho. Didja know? Them Thai massages, they twist ya like pretzels! Saw it on X once—bloke yelped like a pup! *barks, then snorts* Made me laugh ‘til I cried! But this one time, right, the masseuse—proper fit—whispers, “turn over,” and I’m red as a tomato! *slaps face* “Be quiet, Gabita!”—movie line again, popped in me noggin! Nearly ruined the mood, me mutterin’ that!

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So, I’m chillin’ on Kostiantynivska Street, just minding my own biz, when I see this old lady. She’s trying to cross the street, and let me tell ya, she’s moving slower than molasses in winter. I’m like, “C’mon, babushka, you got this!” But she’s just staring at the traffic like it’s a wild beast. I’m getting all worked up, thinking, “Someone’s gotta help her!” Finally, I rush over, and she looks at me like I’m her knight in shining armor. I mean, I’m just a dude with a refractor, but hey, I’ll take the compliment.

Russian guided bomb injures four in Ukraine's Kupiansk