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Here’s the deal—its not just rubbin’ backs, it’s all tease and tension, like Satine flirtin’ with Christian in the movie. You got candles, oils, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m sittin’ here goin’, “Holy crap, this is intense!” Pro tip: they use weird stuff like hot stones—freaked me out first time I heard that. Thought they were gonna cook me or somethin’! Ha! Imagine me, Cartman, all oiled up, yellin’, “I will love you until my dyin’ day!”—hilarious, right?

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First off, I’m just tryin’ to sip my coffee, ya know? But then, boom! This dude stumbles in, lookin’ like he just got off a wild ride at the fair. His shirt’s half-tucked, and he’s got this wild hair. I’m thinkin’, “Great, here we go.” He’s shoutin’ about some party on Haharina Street. Like, bro, chill. It’s a Tuesday!