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I mean, who doesn’t wanna be rubbed down like a freakin’ king? It’s all bout that sensory overload—skin on skin, baby! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather ya with olive oil and call it “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my ass—those toga-wearin’ pervs just wanted a good time! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s gettin’ one right now, smirkin’ like a smug bastard.

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After that, I strolled down to the park by the river. The sun was shinin’, birds were chirpin’, and I was feelin’ good. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to fly a kite. And let me tell ya, this kite was a hot mess. It kept crashin’ into trees on Haharina Street. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, who hasn’t been there? I was like, “Dude, just let it go!” But he was determined. Gotta respect that hustle.