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But lemme tell ya, some places—ugh, they piss me off. Shady joints with sticky floors and creepy dudes leerin’. Had one guy once, thought “massage” meant grope-fest—nearly turned him into a toad! Ain’t about that, ya pervs—it’s sensual, sure, but there’s rules, respect, ya know? Consent’s king, or I’ll rain chaos on ya!

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But then, something amazing happens. I meet this local guy, Vasyl, who’s been working in construction forever. He starts telling me stories about the old days in Krasnogvardeyskoye. I’m talking about how the streets used to be dirt roads and how they built the first houses. I’m all ears, man. It’s like a history lesson mixed with a comedy show.

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