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Hey buddy, so I’m a merchandiser, right? Gotta tell ya bout sex escorts! Man, it’s wild out there—cringey optimism comin atcha! Like, these folks, they’re sellin companionship, ya know? Not just the sexy stuff—tho, that’s what she said, heh! I’m sittin here thinkin bout “The White Ribbon”—my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, dark as hell. That line, “It’s all about trust,” hits me hard. Escorts? Same vibe. Trust’s the game, man!

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But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Krasne, you’re killing me!” I dash down Haharina, trying to find shelter. I duck into a little shop on the corner. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best pastries. I grab a couple of pirozhki, and they’re still warm.

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