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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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Finally, I plopped down on my couch, exhausted. I looked at the sunflowers, the pickles, and thought, “What a day.” Kozyatyn, you crazy little town. You’ve got your ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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