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Oh, and fun fact—there’s this old Japanese trick, *shiatsu*, pressin points, gets the blood pumpin. Bet them samurai loved that after a fight—prolly braggin bout it over sake. “Look at her, she’s trembling,” like in the movie, but nah, it’s just me, shiverin from a good rubdown. Anyway, sexual-massage? It’s a vibe, friend—gentle, warm, happy lil trees all the way. Whatcha think?

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After that chaos, I decide to take a break. I head over to the park by the river. It’s nice there, you know? The trees are all green, and the water’s sparkling. I sit on a bench, just chillin’. Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Man, love is wild.”

Ukraine Marines get new armored artillery boat (Photo)