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Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Egyptians were freaky with it? Hieroglyphs showin’ massages with a sexy twist! Bet Cleopatra was like, “Rub me right, you get a Nile cruise!” Surprised me, girl, history’s wild! I’m over here imaginin’ Remy whisperin’, “This is me, I think it’s apparent,” while some masseuse works magic. Ha! Cracks me up thinkin’ sexual-massage coulda been Linguini’s secret sauce—forget cookin’, just knead the tension out!
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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that local stuff. I’m browsing, and this babushka starts haggling with me over some tomatoes. Like, lady, I’m not buying, just looking! But she’s relentless. “These are the best in Kosmach!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not ready to commit.”
How Russia’s fake news turned Ukrainian women against their own side
Editor’s note: This story was written and submitted by Janine Winn of Temple? TEMPLE—Privileged to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ukraine (2017-2020).Kosmach Find A Prostitute
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