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Okay, check this—little known fact: back in ‘90s, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy as fuck, right? Imagine Bart Simpson tryna decode that shit: “M4F, likes skateboards, no narcs.” Eat my shorts, so retro! Nowadays, it’s all instant—bam, “Hey, wyd?” Texts flyin’ like SEAL Team Six stormin’ in. Gets me hyped, man! Met this one chick, total babe, thought, “We’re goin’ dark!”—y’know, gettin’ freaky. Turns out, she’s just pushin’ some OnlyFans scam. Pissed me off—wanted to chuck my phone like, “Negative burn, asshole!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Korsun-Shevchenkivskyy, you’ve got me all kinds of twisted. Woke up this morning, sun shining like it’s trying to show off. I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this!” Grabbed my coffee from that little spot on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. Always knows my order.