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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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So, I’m chillin’ at the fire station on Shevchenka Street, just sippin’ my coffee, when the alarm goes off. My heart’s racing, and I’m like, “Here we go!” We get the call—some old building on Haharina Street is smokin’ like a BBQ gone wrong. I grab my gear, and we’re outta there faster than you can say “firefighter.”

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