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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—pure bliss, I’m yellin, “Oh, Christ, I’m alive!” straight outta “Fish Tank” vibes. Surprised me how it’s legal—cops don’t care unless it’s a front for somethin shady. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft tunes—none of that fluorescent nonsense! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like heaven—lavender, I think, tho I sneezed twice, typical Marge luck.

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So, I get to the arena, and it’s packed. I mean, like sardines in a can. Everyone’s hyped, and I’m feelin’ it too. But then, bam! My buddy Vasyl trips over his own feet. Classic Vasyl, right? He spills his drink all over some fancy lady. She’s fuming, and I’m just tryin’ not to laugh. Like, c’mon, it’s just a drink!

Ukraine's security service raids monastery in capital Kyiv