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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister. I drink and I know things, right? So, erotic-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like a bastard in wildfire. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, mate. Art! I saw this flick, *Son of Saul*, fuckin’ grim as hell, and there’s this line, “You’ll survive if you work.” Made me think—erotic-massage is work, sure, but damn, it’s the kind that keeps ya breathin’. Not like shovelin’ dirt in Auschwitz, nah, this is life-givin’, ya feel me?

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a whole cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of instant noodles? I mean, I get it, they’re cheap, but c’mon! He’s chatting away about some football match, and I’m just nodding, trying to scan his stuff. I’m thinking, “Bro, I’m not your therapist.” But whatever, I’m here for the cash, right?

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