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Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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But then, just as I’m basking in my glory, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a car accident on the corner of Shevchenka and Kostiantynivska. People are gathering, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need. A traffic jam on my street.”

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