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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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So, I grab my bread and head to the park by the river. It’s nice there, you know? The Dnister’s flowing, birds chirping. I sit down, take a breath, and boom! A kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it smacks me right in the face. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I mean, come on! I’m just tryna enjoy my day!

Russians attack residential areas of Kherson Oblast: 2 people killed