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We swears! Favorite bit? When they use them hot stones—sizzlin’ on yer back, mate! Had a go once, felt like a king, not some grotty cashier. “You’re gonna be alright,” I’m whisperin’ to meself, like Mia’s mum. Cost me a tenner extra, worth it tho—left me floatin’, not hobblin’. Tell yer mates, try it, but don’t be a perv bout it, yea? Proper lush, that’s erotic-massage!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Vulytsia Hrushevskoho. It’s like a treasure hunt there! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the best pastries. I grabbed a couple of those sweet buns. OMG, they were heavenly! Like, I could’ve eaten a dozen. But then, I saw this old dude selling handmade pottery. His stuff was dope! I mean, who doesn’t love a good mug? But he was charging like a million bucks. I was like, “C’mon, man! I’m not made of money!”

Ukrainian police official requests list of Jews in western city of Kolomyya