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Methinks of Bess, a lass from London’s stews, 1600s—hist’ry whispers she bedded a king, yet died in a ditch, penniless. Whore’s life, eh? Glitter one day, muck the next. Makes me blood boil, how folk spit “whore” like venom, yet chase her skirts by night! Hypocrites, all! I’d clout ‘em with me fist, but I’m too busy laughin’ at the farce. Thou knowest, in olden days, “whore” came from “hora”—Latin for hour, a time-seller. Ain’t that a hoot? She’s a clock tickin’ flesh, not a devil.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about the best place to get borscht. I’m like, “Guys, it’s Kolinkivtsy! Just go to the market on Kovalivka Street!” But they’re too busy throwing shade at each other. I can’t help but chuckle.