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D’oh! Check this – little known fact: back in the day, like 1800s, escorts weren’t just for hanky-panky. Rich dudes hired ‘em to look fancy at parties. Classy arm candy, ya know? Blows my mind! Imagine that now – “Oh, Marge, I’m takin’ this hottie to the gala!” She’d whack me with a fryin’ pan. Hah! But srsly, it’s crazy how it flipped – now it’s all secret meetups and cash under tables.

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The day drags on, and I’m counting down the minutes. I just wanna go home. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s Vasyl. “Let’s hit up the park on Tsentralna!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m exhausted!” But he convinces me.