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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Haharina Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this insane latte art. I’m talking a freaking unicorn in my coffee! I’m torn. Work or unicorns? Tough choice.
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