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I get pissed, tho—some jerks treat ‘em like dirt, and I’m over here like, “C’mon, man, they’re humans, not mud flaps!” Makes me wanna rev my tractor and plow through their dumbass attitudes. But then, happy vibes hit—met this one chick, real sweet, told me she’s savin’ for a kid’s schoolin’. Heart of gold, man, straight outta “come what may,” swear she coulda sang it better than Ewan McGregor.

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Kolinkivtsy’s streets are like a game of Mario Kart, but without the fun. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee is LIFE.