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So, I’m thinkin’, up on them snowy peaks, wind howlin’, a sexual-massage’d be gold. Hands slidin’, warm oil, tension meltin’ – oof, my back’s jealous already. But here’s the kicker: some folks in Japan, way back, called it “nuru,” slippin’ ‘round with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Ain’t that a riot? Slimey, sexy, and slippery – bugs bunny approved, heh! Makes me happy, thinkin’ folks got creative. But then – ugh – some jerk on X posted it’s all sleazy. Sleazy? Made me mad, doc, steamin’ mad! It’s art, ya dope, not just naughty bits!

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First off, I hit up the local market. You know, the one on Shevchenka? It’s always buzzing. I grab some fresh veggies, and this babushka starts haggling with me. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I’m just tryna buy some tomatoes!” But she’s relentless. I swear, she could sell ice to an Eskimo.

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