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Now, tie this to my fave flick—“Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives.” Deep shit, man! Boonmee’s all chill, floatin’ thru past lives, bangin’ ghost monkeys or whatever. Sex-dating’s like that—ya never know who yer screwin’, past-life style! “I am reborn many times,” he says, and I’m like, hell yeah, every hookup’s a new me! Respect my authoritah—I see crap others don’t! Like, is this chick a reincarnated catfish? Fuuuuck!

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see my buddy Oleg. He’s chillin’ by the fountain, lookin’ like he just rolled outta bed. We start talkin’ about the football match last night. I’m still mad about that last-minute goal. Like, seriously? Who does that? Kobelyaky’s got some passionate fans, though. You can hear ‘em from a mile away when they’re cheerin’ for FC Kobelyaky.

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